and so it is...

2011 was a good year.

was it better than 2010? maybe not.
with my taiwan exchange and all the drama rehearsal madness, 2010 is quite hard to beat (in terms of fun).

one of my highlights of 2011, would have to be my hosting "career", which began in June. really learnt a lot from all those veteran emcees. at least now i'm certain that freelance is not my thing. 兴趣不能当饭吃. and hosting is not exactly my best talent LOL.

looks like Lady Luck finally decided to shine on me.
what a morale booster to end my 2nd final semester with a bang! i think i haven't scored straight A's since...PSLE. *gasp*
won an Android phone from a Singtel contest! all i did was post a funny comment, apparently it was funny enough to garner so many "likes" hohoho! usual price $598 and i got it for free! 是上天的旨意，要我跟上时代的脚步? MUAHAHAHA!

2012 preview: finish FYP, start job-hunting, finish exams, grad trip, family trip, convocation, start work, enjoy work, survive 21/12/2012, countdown to 2013...

i shall continue to be contented & grateful for the little things in life.
with a new phone, new wallet & new organiser...i'm ready for 2012!

Best of 2011: Music & Drama

TOP 5 ENGLISH SONGS

1. Pumped Up Kicks (Foster The People)
2. Run The World (Beyonce)
3. 6 Foot 7 Foot (Lil Wayne)
4. How To Love (Lil Wayne)
5. Something In The Water (Brooke Fraser)


TOP 5 CHINESE SONGS

1. 愚人的国度 （孙燕姿）
2. 转身之后 （Bii）
3. 你好吗 （周杰伦）
4. 那些年 （胡夏）
5. 因为爱情 （陈奕迅/王菲）


最好看的偶像剧： 我可能不会爱你

最好看的韩剧： 笑吧，东海

最好看的港剧： no comments. 因为今年没怎么在看港剧.

Best of 2011: K-pop

I was officially converted into a K-pop fan this year.
watching all those weekly chart shows (Mnet, Inkigayo, Music Bank) while rooting for my favs.

at first it was the crazily catchy infectious dance beats.
then came the goosebumps-inducing moving ballads.

dun understand the lyrics? never mind.
all that matters is the melody.

TOP 5 DANCE TRACKS

1. The Boys (SNSD)
2. Roly Poly (T-ARA)
3. I Am The Best (2NE1)
4. Bubble Pop (HYUNA)
5. Message (MY NAME)

TOP 5 BALLADS

1. A Long Day (TIM)
2. Don't Say Goodbye (DAVICHI)
3. Hello (HUH GAK)
4. I Told You I Wanna Die (HUH GAK)
5. Even Now (SUNG SI KYUNG)

Best of 2011: Movies

here comes my first year-end list of favourites!

according to my IMDb reviews, i din watch many movies this year (as compared to previous years). was i that busy? hmm.

but anyway, out of those i watched, here's my top 10 (in order of preference):

1. A Separation (Iran)
the Iranians did it again. drama at its best. cuden pick out a single flaw. be sure to catch it in cinemas Feb 2012.

2. The Artist (France)
a silent film which has more heart and depth than all the blockbusters out there.

3. Incendies (Canada)
one of the most shocking endings EVER. the thought of it still gives me goosebumps.

4. Beginners (USA)
quirky feel-good dramedy. kinda like 500 Days Of Summer, but more inspirational.

5. 那些年，我们一起追的女孩 (Taiwan)
expected it to be 青春偶像剧-like, but it was far more than that. lives up to its hype.

6. Rio
7. 127 Hours
8. The Ides Of March
9. Four Lions
10. 让子弹飞


next list: Korean Songs.

it's the end...

of exams.
of another semester.
of another year.

but it's only the beginning...
of holidays.
of xmas shows.
of FYP.

shall keep myself fully occupied until results day.
or else i will think too much n put myself in a bad mood.

who's afraid of being lonely

apparently everyone. including my dad.
now that my mum is so actively involved in her line dance sessions (no longer confined within the household), my dad is often "home alone".
even when i'm at home, he's still "home alone", cos i stay in my room all the time.

yes yes yes i know...as a filial son, i should keep him company.
but when he watches movies or drama serials, he needs to talk. like a commentator.
but i need absolute silence so that i can concentrate. like i'm in a cinema.
see the problem?

sometimes he refrains from talking, so that i can enjoy my silence, but 他忍得很辛苦。
sometimes i tolerate his talking，结果他看得很过瘾，我看得很辛苦。
迁就是不会有幸福的。
幸福也只有一方幸福，没有两全其美的办法。

actually my mum hates my dad's commentating too...but she can tolerate.
no wonder they are husband and wife.

to say that "i enjoy being alone" will make me sound like a loner, but i'm not.
you may think loners are pathetic, but they may be enjoying life more than you do.
becos in a crowd, someone always has to COMPROMISE.
even if that someone is not me, i would feel bad for that someone.

how nice if you can always do things your way huh?
you know what? you can.
it's a choice.

PS: 看了《那些年我们一起追的女孩》，没错，很sweet。
不过，看到大家在facebook的观后感，很纳闷。
怎么好像全世界都经历过那段“年少轻狂”的岁月，就只有我没有？
不是遗憾。我自认我的人生到目前为止，没什么值得遗憾的事。
也不是羡慕。拜托，我以前最讨厌那种臭男生了。
就只是...纳闷。

last year of youth

"According to the United Nations definition, 'youth' constitutes people between ages 15-24.”

不会吧。
再过一年，我就失去庆祝Youth's Day的资格了...

好吧~ 接下来这一年要充实地过！
为youth时代划下完美的句点！
从25岁开始，做个称职的working adult！

ka-ching!

that's the sound of $$$.

latest lobang: my hall decided to revive the "hall production tradition" (hello what tradition?! our first & last one was in 2009! oh well.) basically their actors & comm members have no drama background, so they wanna "employ" me at $40/hr to share some acting tips!

i once thought of teaching drama to kids...but uni students? hmmmm we'll see how it goes. i'll just impart them what i have learnt from my 5 NIE drama mods. hopefully they dun see me as a hyper enthu drama queen (but actually i dun mind if they do) MUAHAHAHA~

damn

i'm damn bitchy.
if there was a karma bank, i'd be damn rich.
but i dun give a damn.
i just can't shut my damn mouth.
goddamnit.

DJ ROY's discoveries

my TOP 4 fav albums of 2011...so far.
go *cough*download*cough* these albums!

Brooke Fraser "Flags" (genre: pop/folk)

Mat Kearney "Young Love" (genre: pop/rock)

Zee Avi "Ghostbird" (genre: pop/folk/jazz)

Dev "The Night The Sun Came Up" (genre: electronic/R&B)


thanks to them, the % of clubbing tracks in my MP3 has decreased.
but anyway, for those in need of some addictive booty-shaking sick beats, check this out:
David Guetta/Dev/Timbaland "I Just Wanna F".

yeah in case u were wondering...i'm listening to it right now.
shaking and blogging at the same time.

and semester 7 has begun...

like a smooth-sailing ship on peaceful waters.
no tsunami please!
cos i'll be studying that for ES8001 Natural Hazards & Society.
hi Mr Geography, long time no see.
let's be friends again after like...10 years?

and i have to say...ASIAN FILMS ARE FASCINATING.
which is why i can't decide between CS8200 Asian Horror Film and FIL230 Asian Film History.
no matter which one i choose, i'm gonna have late dinner and reach home at 10+.
which i totally dun mind.
cos ASIAN FILMS ARE FASCINATING.

how i wish i can change my remaining MPEs into UEs.
for those scratching your heads:
MPE = Major Prescribed Electives (only from 中文系)
UE = Unrestricted Electives (anything in the whole wide world)

it's like...letting me choose only 1 piece of chocolate from a chocolate factory.
and choose the rest from a basket of vegetables.

THE FINAL LAP

okie August is finally here!
all pumped up for the new semester!

i guess all the convo pics on facebook serves as a great motivation...and reminder.
motivation: that will be me in one year's time.
reminder: can't afford to fall below 4.00.

i wanna graduate with a big fat smile on my face.
ermmm okie forget about fat.
big smile will do =D

NEW SEMESTER RESOLUTIONS:

1) look forward to school every day and enjoy the learning process instead of fixating on grades (since i have the right to choose the courses i'm interested in).

2) give myself a break on Mondays and Fridays by doing school roadshows (and earning extra pocket money heehee).

3) work on my FYP consistently so that there won't be a mad rush for deadlines (although i doubt my prof will even care to set any deadlines).

4) only blog about happy stuff.

$$$ MOOLAH $$$

it's weird.
i dun feel the pain when i spend $$$ like crazy in June.
but when i look at my passbook now, i feel like slapping myself.

must be the post-exam-crazy-shopping-relief-syndrome.
and the post-exam-i-deserve-to-go-out-everyday-disorder.

赚钱是为了花钱。
but i have been consciously watching my expenditure in July.
even though i'm enjoying my most well-paid holiday job ever.
seriously, damn well-paid.
i should have charged the HSS and HALL4 people for all those hosting jobs.

i should pamper myself more.
buy t-shirts which cost more than $20 (yes TOPMAN how come ur t-shirts still cost $30+ during GSS), and shoes which cost more than $40 (enough of FASTER bugis street shoes).
no no no.
save it for a better future (hoho sounds so ambitious).

whatever.
I NEED A PAIR OF NEW SHOES.

朋友啊

人，闲来无事的时候，真的会胡思乱想。
今晚是第一次有这种体会。

facebook上有600个朋友，天天出现在news feed的也不过就那几十个。
600个里面，应该有过半是hi-bye friends。
有些甚至连hi-bye都不是，只不过是朋友的朋友，或一起上过一门课/一起合作过一个event罢了。

有些更惨，是小学同学，可是没有同班过。
真的真的记不起你是谁，甚至十年来没有跟你说过话，你却忽然来add我...
我对你的生活没兴趣，可是又不好意思拒绝你的friend request，叫我情何以堪。

所以，我狠下心delete了100多人。
跟他们实在没有任何值得珍藏的共同回忆。
在街上遇到应该会尴尬到极点。
没关系，他们应该不会发现我已经delete了他们。

有些，真的好久好久好久没联络。
现在忽然联络，可能会很冒昧，对方也可能会觉得我意图不轨（卖保险/房子之类的）。
可是，因为太久没联络，他们的近况也不再出现在我的news feed上了。
直到今晚，我一个一个“登门拜访”，才发现大家都不一样了。

模样/发型/打扮不同当然不在话下。
有些已经在加拿大/澳洲/英国发展得不错，似乎没有回来的打算。
有些从事着意想不到的工作，惊喜之余也替他们感到欣慰。
有些已经结婚了（还好还没生孩子）。

如果有一天，身边的朋友都结婚了...
放心，我会很识相的，不会用“重色轻友”对你死缠烂打。
毕竟每个人has different priorities in life。

如果你还不介意跟我吃饭，我当然乐意随时奉陪。
可是如果就那样渐渐疏远了，也只能这样了。
好好过你的人生吧！

这不是emo，是感慨...而且还是老人的那种。

perfect

i'm kinda living the perfect life right now.
not too busy, not too bored.
meeting awesome people, doing awesome stuff.
waking up every morning with a smile.

not forgetting the occasional meetups.
where i indulge in sinful food without feeling guilty.
and share the joys of freelance hosting.

locating my hosting assignments has made me more familiar with street directories and bus services.
discovered some street names which i never knew existed.
my sense of direction is not THAT bad after all.

this may sound unbelievable (for those who know me well).
but...making kids smile actually makes me smile too.
yes u heard me.
but still i'd rather adopt a 13-year-old kid.
MUAHAHAHAHA.

freelance

i'm proud to call myself a freelance _____.

以前觉得freelance很cool, 不用每天朝九晚五，工作想接就接，想放假就放假~
是这样没错啦。不过也要有lobang，才有固定的收入。
所以我觉得我以后应该不会从事freelance。

主持儿童节目真的有。够。累。
虽然我平时已经在装可爱，可是竟。然。还。不。够。
连我自己看playback，都有点想揍人。
说不定那些小孩也想揍我。呵呵呵~

忽然发现这三年来，从来没有人给我主持上的意见/评语。
不管是中文系/HSS/Hall4的活动，都是受人所托才帮忙主持。
活动结束后，负责人总是连声道谢/夸奖，害我都有点不好意思。

难得专业的events company肯提点我，真是感激不尽。
从来没有人告诉过我“you can be more spontaneous”。
好，就从这点开始精益求精！

4.00

i have to blog this like RIGHT NOW.

finally i get to sleep in peace.
well done rockeroosteroy.

maintain like that and i'll graduate with a second upper.
4.XX
XX doesn't matter anymore~
jiayou jiayou jiayou!

阿宅

唉。
考完不到九天，又开始闷了。

周围的人都在工作，只有晚上才有空。
把晚上的行程都排满，还剩无所事事的白天。
每天关在房里，把窗帘拉起来，故意远离白天...
也不是啦，只是阳光照进来，很热，很烦。

早上11点醒来，离晚上还剩7小时。
扣掉吃早餐/吃午餐/睡午觉，还剩4小时。
4小时，用电脑/看电视/看电影。

超写意的生活，大家应该都很羡慕，可是久了也会乏味。
更何况还要过上77天（从今天开始算）。

在家其实也不是没事做。
只是懒得开始做。
F。Y。P
也对啦，这77天先做一点，开学后日子也会好过一点。
呵呵~难得乐观。

该死的202

今天的HC202打击太大。
回到家哭了一场。
觉得自己好笨。

最重要的一门课，担心了四个月，还是落到这个下场。
虽然已做好最坏的打算，还是希望会有奇迹出现。

真的。及格就好。
C也没关系。
能做FYP就好。

老爸老妈说及格就好，能毕业就好。
CGPA 2.00 就可以戴方帽了，我说。
那就够了，他们说。最重要是活得开心。

什么时候开始那么执著，那么看不开，我也不晓得。
什么时候变得那么怕输，那么功利，我也忘记了。
就是不想对不起自己。
总觉得自己可以做得更更更好。

这个礼拜五的HC302，要把失去的分数给抢回来。
HC202的不足，就用其它四门课来补。
潘老师，请手下留情。

stupid blogwalkers

u have been warned.
if u dunno me & i dunno u, DUN leave a message on my tagboard asking me to visit ur blog or whatever shit.
who cares if u r just dropping by (since i dun even know u in e first place).
i dun need u to comment on how nice my blog layout is, or how interesting my content is.
if u can only come up with such shallow comments, might as well dun comment.

maybe it's some "blogger tradition" to visit strangers' blogs and promote ur own blog.
but count me out of ur stupid routine.
u have chose e wrong blog to comment on.
i want my tagboard to be squeaky clean with only comments from my friends.
SO IF U R NOT MY FRIEND, GET THE HELL OUT BEFORE I REALLY VISIT UR BLOG AND POST NASTY COMMENTS ON UR TAGBOARD.

撑

这个学期从头撑到尾。
肚皮都要撑破了。
撑破之后，墨水会流出来。
然后，流到考卷上。

多37天。
希望墨水不会干掉。

halfway thru

not gonna blog about recess week.
it went by in a flash.
i dun even remember having a social life.

first half of the semester: no reports, no presentations, no quizzes.
and yet already so emo.
how am i gonna survive April?
die of depression, maybe.

god bless japan

天佑日本。

嗯，听起来有点反讽。
把日本害成这样的不是“天”灾吗？
现在连天都不能指望了。

靠人吧！
人定胜天。
至少新闻画面里的日本民众看起来很坚强。
请继续坚强。

Japan does not deserve this.
No country deserves this.

刘智澎的相处之道

我在台湾买的 《蔡康永的说话之道》 真的很抢手，很多人向我借，其实我自己还没读完，哈哈哈~
学会了说话的艺术，还要懂得用，一直用也不见得是好事...

如果你和我单独搭过MRT，你会发现我嘴巴一直没停过。
我一直觉得，只有很熟的朋友才会有源源不绝的话题 （不是硬找话题聊的那种）。
我每个礼拜都会有三个像这样的朋友，令回家的路程看起来不再那么遥远。
真的，什么都可以聊，时间也过得很快。

那天晚上，看完舞台剧，和一个认识了十年的朋友，一起搭了30分钟的MRT。
可能因为读书/工作了一整天，我们都有些疲倦了。
可是几个月才见一次面，总觉得如果不聊些什么，好像有点生疏/尴尬。
所以我还是不厌其烦地聊起彼此的近况 （只希望她不会觉得太闷）。

必须承认，后来有点硬找话题聊的感觉。
也不是不熟，只是...她一直在听，只是在听。
然后她终于开口了，语气很温和，像个长辈似的：
“可能你当主持当惯了，无法忍受dead air，哎呀我们都那么熟了，偶尔的沉默是OK的。”
正中死穴。窘死了。

也对，情侣/夫妻也不会一直聊天。
我自己一个人的时候，也绝对不会自言自语。（虽然说blogging也算是自言自语）
纯粹不想让对方觉得闷/尴尬/冷落罢了。
没想过说话会是一种疲劳轰炸。

I can be at ease with myself, but not with someone around.
这不是我的职业病，是个性的关系，是我的相处之道。

DISCLAIMER: this is a reflective post, not an emo post.

back (on track)!

okie i better post something before my joyous mood disappears (hope it won't)...
since i promised this post would be a happy one!

reasons to be happy:

1) today is Tue! the day when i end classes at 10.30, head home for home-cooked lunch, and take a long afternoon nap (since i dun have to sleep early n wake up early on Wed)!

but i wasn't THAT happy for the past few Tues, so it must be reasons (2) & (3)!

2) i got paid for doing something i enjoy! Valenwine paid me $50 for 2 hrs of emcee-ing hoho~ okie the pay was a bonus, wasn't expecting much since the committee was on a tight budget. but this was my first hosting gig since...OCT 2009! it feels good to hold a mic n just talk talk talk...n get paid. MUAHAHAHAHA!

3) more n more drama in my life. in a good way! haha dunno why there are so many theatre productions in Mar...but i have bought all the tickets! (dun remind me about the cost, i'm using my angbao money) watching with different groups of friends, gossiping before/after the show over dinner/supper, laughing so loud n attracting so much attention...i guess we simply enjoy the attention HAHA!

i'm finally getting my life back (on track)! YAY~

since when did i start ranting

i've been ranting a lot.
it's unhealthy.
and it's taking a toll on me.
i miss the old me.

the first 2 months of 2011 have been full of disappointment.
and it's the suckiest feeling ever.

i'm sick of being a leader.
but i hate being a follower.
i'll just live alone in my happy world.

i deserve to be happier.
it's time to heck-care some stuff.
screw obligations.

i have booked a consultation session with Royston Liu Zhipeng.
i believe he can cure me.

i promise my next post will be less emo.
okie at least i'll try.
because promises are worthless nowadays.

trapped in a rat race

总觉得这个学期一直要做自己不擅长的东西。
可能别人也不擅长，可是至少they look like they're coping well。
周围厉害的人很多，要突围真的很难。
知道自己比别人弱，就要加倍的努力。
可是努力久了还是会累。
累了又不能停下来休息。
没关系，可以练stamina。
再跑多三个月就可以了。

2 weeks have passed...

可是在学校就是开心不起来。
明明就很期待开学，可是每天出门都有心不甘情不愿的感觉。
可能因为上个学期太好玩了，这个学期显得很“黯淡”。
原来...上自己喜欢的课是非常重要的。

是学到很多新的东西啦。
可是...不是我喜欢的东西。
所以连复习都懒懒的。（懒懒不是粗话，是叠词）
所有书面/口头报告的期限已经公布。
我四月中旬应该会忙死。
死不了就去考试吧...反正才考三天。

这个学期的戏剧课都没怎么在演。
要读很多，写很多，讲很多。
班上有实力的人也很多。
可是我的精力没有很多。

跟年龄毫无关系。
是心态的问题。
还在为上个学期的成绩耿耿于怀。
这个学期从一开始就很用功，可是还是力不从心。
反向思考：这个学期可能会考得比较好，因为都没有在玩。

人要做自己喜欢/想做的事才会开心。
应酬别人/履行义务只会越来越累。
尤其当你越来越有孤军作战的感觉。
很没有意义。

Semester No.6

okie back on my feet.
all courses finalised.
same combo as last sem: 3 chinese 2 drama.

potential to do well for last sem: 80% (results proved me wrong)
potential to do well for this sem: 40% (shit)

the 3 chinese mods this sem look like killers.
HC202, a core mod which requires logic and common sense, something i have always lacked (and will continue to lack). exam requires on-the-spot thinking. ewww.
HC302, a core mod on philosophy. zero interest. zero background. ewww.
HC341, china city n culture. taking it for the sake of movies. NICE.
only 3 papers at the end of this sem. NICEEE.
3-day interval between each paper. NICEEEEE.

shall complete my drama minor this sem!
directing on Wed, southeast asian theatre on Fri.
weekly reflection journals are back to haunt me. YAY.
gonna have more fun with some of last sem's drama classmates. YAYYY.
counting on drama to pull up my GPA again. YAYYYYY.

不应该是这样的

worst exam results ever.
totally din see that coming.
totally din justify how hard i worked my ass off for last sem.

and i thought year 2 sem 1 was bad enough.
year 3 sem 1 totally hit rock-bottom.
to think that it was my most fav sem of all.

i guess if i din go for exchange, and stayed in NTU to clear those 18 AUs, my GPA would have dropped even further huh.
is this a curse or what?
everytime i have expectations, it's gonna fall short.
so i'm not supposed to feel good/confident/assured about anything now?
so i'm supposed to perform badly first, worry that i'm gonna fail, then a miracle will appear?

dun tell me it's okie.
it's SO not okie.

dun tell me to try harder next sem.
i already tried so hard last sem.

我不服气，我不甘心，可是我什么都不能做。
不应该是这样的。
努力就应该要有回报，不然努力来干嘛？
我到底是哪里做得不够？
i did everything in advance. reports, presentations, exam revision.
seriously what else do i have to do before u give me that A again?

"GPA is just three numbers. A grade is just an alphabet."
apparently it isn't so.
我真的比任何事情都还要在乎这几个笨数字。
注定要被它们折磨个半死。

我还能做什么。谁可以告诉我。

first post of 2011

hmmm...
my first post came so late cos i was searching for a suitable theme or topic to start off the year.
so have i found one?
erm, no.

i guess staying at home doesn't inspire me much.
i NEED my school life back. (yeah sounds crazy but it's true)

i think short breaks are enough for me to re-charge my ENERGISER RABBIT battery.
in two weeks time, NTU will see me hopping around again.
*boing boing boing*