i've been ranting a lot.
it's unhealthy.
and it's taking a toll on me.
i miss the old me.
the first 2 months of 2011 have been full of disappointment.
and it's the suckiest feeling ever.
i'm sick of being a leader.
but i hate being a follower.
i'll just live alone in my happy world.
i deserve to be happier.
it's time to heck-care some stuff.
screw obligations.
i have booked a consultation session with Royston Liu Zhipeng.
i believe he can cure me.
i promise my next post will be less emo.
okie at least i'll try.
because promises are worthless nowadays.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
trapped in a rat race
总觉得这个学期一直要做自己不擅长的东西。
可能别人也不擅长，可是至少they look like they're coping well。
周围厉害的人很多，要突围真的很难。
知道自己比别人弱，就要加倍的努力。
可是努力久了还是会累。
累了又不能停下来休息。
没关系，可以练stamina。
再跑多三个月就可以了。
可能别人也不擅长，可是至少they look like they're coping well。
周围厉害的人很多，要突围真的很难。
知道自己比别人弱，就要加倍的努力。
可是努力久了还是会累。
累了又不能停下来休息。
没关系，可以练stamina。
再跑多三个月就可以了。
Saturday, February 12, 2011
2 weeks have passed...
可是在学校就是开心不起来。
明明就很期待开学，可是每天出门都有心不甘情不愿的感觉。
可能因为上个学期太好玩了，这个学期显得很“黯淡”。
原来...上自己喜欢的课是非常重要的。
是学到很多新的东西啦。
可是...不是我喜欢的东西。
所以连复习都懒懒的。（懒懒不是粗话，是叠词）
所有书面/口头报告的期限已经公布。
我四月中旬应该会忙死。
死不了就去考试吧...反正才考三天。
这个学期的戏剧课都没怎么在演。
要读很多，写很多，讲很多。
班上有实力的人也很多。
可是我的精力没有很多。
跟年龄毫无关系。
是心态的问题。
还在为上个学期的成绩耿耿于怀。
这个学期从一开始就很用功，可是还是力不从心。
反向思考：这个学期可能会考得比较好，因为都没有在玩。
人要做自己喜欢/想做的事才会开心。
应酬别人/履行义务只会越来越累。
尤其当你越来越有孤军作战的感觉。
很没有意义。
明明就很期待开学，可是每天出门都有心不甘情不愿的感觉。
可能因为上个学期太好玩了，这个学期显得很“黯淡”。
原来...上自己喜欢的课是非常重要的。
是学到很多新的东西啦。
可是...不是我喜欢的东西。
所以连复习都懒懒的。（懒懒不是粗话，是叠词）
所有书面/口头报告的期限已经公布。
我四月中旬应该会忙死。
死不了就去考试吧...反正才考三天。
这个学期的戏剧课都没怎么在演。
要读很多，写很多，讲很多。
班上有实力的人也很多。
可是我的精力没有很多。
跟年龄毫无关系。
是心态的问题。
还在为上个学期的成绩耿耿于怀。
这个学期从一开始就很用功，可是还是力不从心。
反向思考：这个学期可能会考得比较好，因为都没有在玩。
人要做自己喜欢/想做的事才会开心。
应酬别人/履行义务只会越来越累。
尤其当你越来越有孤军作战的感觉。
很没有意义。
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Semester No.6
okie back on my feet.
all courses finalised.
same combo as last sem: 3 chinese 2 drama.
potential to do well for last sem: 80% (results proved me wrong)
potential to do well for this sem: 40% (shit)
the 3 chinese mods this sem look like killers.
HC202, a core mod which requires logic and common sense, something i have always lacked (and will continue to lack). exam requires on-the-spot thinking. ewww.
HC302, a core mod on philosophy. zero interest. zero background. ewww.
HC341, china city n culture. taking it for the sake of movies. NICE.
only 3 papers at the end of this sem. NICEEE.
3-day interval between each paper. NICEEEEE.
shall complete my drama minor this sem!
directing on Wed, southeast asian theatre on Fri.
weekly reflection journals are back to haunt me. YAY.
gonna have more fun with some of last sem's drama classmates. YAYYY.
counting on drama to pull up my GPA again. YAYYYYY.
all courses finalised.
same combo as last sem: 3 chinese 2 drama.
potential to do well for last sem: 80% (results proved me wrong)
potential to do well for this sem: 40% (shit)
the 3 chinese mods this sem look like killers.
HC202, a core mod which requires logic and common sense, something i have always lacked (and will continue to lack). exam requires on-the-spot thinking. ewww.
HC302, a core mod on philosophy. zero interest. zero background. ewww.
HC341, china city n culture. taking it for the sake of movies. NICE.
only 3 papers at the end of this sem. NICEEE.
3-day interval between each paper. NICEEEEE.
shall complete my drama minor this sem!
directing on Wed, southeast asian theatre on Fri.
weekly reflection journals are back to haunt me. YAY.
gonna have more fun with some of last sem's drama classmates. YAYYY.
counting on drama to pull up my GPA again. YAYYYYY.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
不应该是这样的
worst exam results ever.
totally din see that coming.
totally din justify how hard i worked my ass off for last sem.
and i thought year 2 sem 1 was bad enough.
year 3 sem 1 totally hit rock-bottom.
to think that it was my most fav sem of all.
i guess if i din go for exchange, and stayed in NTU to clear those 18 AUs, my GPA would have dropped even further huh.
is this a curse or what?
everytime i have expectations, it's gonna fall short.
so i'm not supposed to feel good/confident/assured about anything now?
so i'm supposed to perform badly first, worry that i'm gonna fail, then a miracle will appear?
dun tell me it's okie.
it's SO not okie.
dun tell me to try harder next sem.
i already tried so hard last sem.
我不服气，我不甘心，可是我什么都不能做。
不应该是这样的。
努力就应该要有回报，不然努力来干嘛？
我到底是哪里做得不够？
i did everything in advance. reports, presentations, exam revision.
seriously what else do i have to do before u give me that A again?
"GPA is just three numbers. A grade is just an alphabet."
apparently it isn't so.
我真的比任何事情都还要在乎这几个笨数字。
注定要被它们折磨个半死。
我还能做什么。谁可以告诉我。
totally din see that coming.
totally din justify how hard i worked my ass off for last sem.
and i thought year 2 sem 1 was bad enough.
year 3 sem 1 totally hit rock-bottom.
to think that it was my most fav sem of all.
i guess if i din go for exchange, and stayed in NTU to clear those 18 AUs, my GPA would have dropped even further huh.
is this a curse or what?
everytime i have expectations, it's gonna fall short.
so i'm not supposed to feel good/confident/assured about anything now?
so i'm supposed to perform badly first, worry that i'm gonna fail, then a miracle will appear?
dun tell me it's okie.
it's SO not okie.
dun tell me to try harder next sem.
i already tried so hard last sem.
我不服气，我不甘心，可是我什么都不能做。
不应该是这样的。
努力就应该要有回报，不然努力来干嘛？
我到底是哪里做得不够？
i did everything in advance. reports, presentations, exam revision.
seriously what else do i have to do before u give me that A again?
"GPA is just three numbers. A grade is just an alphabet."
apparently it isn't so.
我真的比任何事情都还要在乎这几个笨数字。
注定要被它们折磨个半死。
我还能做什么。谁可以告诉我。
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
first post of 2011
hmmm...
my first post came so late cos i was searching for a suitable theme or topic to start off the year.
so have i found one?
erm, no.
i guess staying at home doesn't inspire me much.
i NEED my school life back. (yeah sounds crazy but it's true)
i think short breaks are enough for me to re-charge my ENERGISER RABBIT battery.
in two weeks time, NTU will see me hopping around again.
*boing boing boing*
my first post came so late cos i was searching for a suitable theme or topic to start off the year.
so have i found one?
erm, no.
i guess staying at home doesn't inspire me much.
i NEED my school life back. (yeah sounds crazy but it's true)
i think short breaks are enough for me to re-charge my ENERGISER RABBIT battery.
in two weeks time, NTU will see me hopping around again.
*boing boing boing*
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
post no.50: best films of 2010
50 blog posts a year! *applause*
this shall be my concluding post for 2010.
as we all know, nothing interest me more than MOVIES.
in fact, ever since exams ended, i've been watching 3 movies per day~
i hereby proclaim 2010 the year of animation! *applause again*
Inception
Toy Story 3
Confessions (Japan)
志明与春娇 (HongKong)
大叔 (Korea)
The Secret In Their Eyes (Argentina)
The Ghost Writer
Rapunzel
Despicable Me
The Social Network
*applause until my next post*
this shall be my concluding post for 2010.
as we all know, nothing interest me more than MOVIES.
in fact, ever since exams ended, i've been watching 3 movies per day~
i hereby proclaim 2010 the year of animation! *applause again*
Inception
Toy Story 3
Confessions (Japan)
志明与春娇 (HongKong)
大叔 (Korea)
The Secret In Their Eyes (Argentina)
The Ghost Writer
Rapunzel
Despicable Me
The Social Network
*applause until my next post*
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)