不应该是这样的

worst exam results ever.
totally din see that coming.
totally din justify how hard i worked my ass off for last sem.

and i thought year 2 sem 1 was bad enough.
year 3 sem 1 totally hit rock-bottom.
to think that it was my most fav sem of all.

i guess if i din go for exchange, and stayed in NTU to clear those 18 AUs, my GPA would have dropped even further huh.
is this a curse or what?
everytime i have expectations, it's gonna fall short.
so i'm not supposed to feel good/confident/assured about anything now?
so i'm supposed to perform badly first, worry that i'm gonna fail, then a miracle will appear?

dun tell me it's okie.
it's SO not okie.

dun tell me to try harder next sem.
i already tried so hard last sem.

我不服气，我不甘心，可是我什么都不能做。
不应该是这样的。
努力就应该要有回报，不然努力来干嘛？
我到底是哪里做得不够？
i did everything in advance. reports, presentations, exam revision.
seriously what else do i have to do before u give me that A again?

"GPA is just three numbers. A grade is just an alphabet."
apparently it isn't so.
我真的比任何事情都还要在乎这几个笨数字。
注定要被它们折磨个半死。

我还能做什么。谁可以告诉我。